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Chapter One | Mothers Love

March third, 1993 Mothers Love was born in Toronto, Ontario. The day after she was born, her mother vanished before she even felt the touch of her warm skin. She was left in the care of her father, Thunder Walker. 

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Five years had passed by, with no word from her mother. Thunder Walker didn't mind because he loved his daughter with every part of his being, but he did wish he could be a better father for her. At times he broke down because he knew the cocaine was slowly eating him alive. His addiction became an uncontrollable force in his life reducing him to a petty criminal.

Thunder Talker is wearing a sober recovery t-shirt

One morning after taking Mothers Love to school. He broke into a house when the owner was home. He thought everyone left the house for work because he watched from down the street as the cars pulled away. When he kicked down the door and rushed into the house the owner attacked him. He fell to the floor and reached for his knife at the same time the owner jumped on him. With the knife in his hands, he began to violently plunge the blade into the homeowner's abdomen. As his body bleed out under his feet, Thunder Walker stared at the lifeless body in shock, realizing that he just killed an innocent man.  

He started to panic, the rush of adrenaline made him burst out of the doorway. He ran home which was only a few short blocks away. He ran into the kitchen, grabbed a dark plastic garbage bag and threw the blood-soaked clothes in it. Then he jumped in the shower scrubbing the homeowner's blood off his body and hands.

Once he finished he put on a white t-shirt, black jean shorts and his favourite red sneakers. Thunder Walker began frantically packing their belongings. He jam-packed what he could in their bags and hurried out the door.

As he reached his vehicle he remembered the dark plastic garbage bag. So he threw their things in the back seat of the car then bolted back into the house. As he reached for the bag he heard a man's voice yell "stop, put your hands in the air". he looked back behind him and seen an off duty officer pointing a gun at his head.

In disbelief, he raised his hands then the officer ordered him to get on his knees and put his hands on his head. As Thunder Walker bent down on his knees the officer charged over knocking him down. The officer got a few swings in with the butt of his gun rendering him unconscious.

police arresting Thunder Talker

While at the police station he told the investigating officers his daughter was at school and asked what would happen to her?. They told him they will contact Child Family Services and from there they wouldn't know.

During the afternoon while Mothers Love was on recess with her classmates. She was approached by two Child and Family Service workers. The first was a black woman wearing a blue dress and black stiletto heels. The second was a caucasian man who was dressed in a white plaid shirt, black dress pants and brown scuffed up loafers. As they towered over her she quickly began to feel sick to her stomach. She knew something was wrong by the way they were staring at her. Their stare was empty and inhuman as if they were staring right through her. The woman began to speak, but Mothers Love Interrupted her immediately shouting out "wheres my dad". The woman replied saying "come with us first, and we will explain everything in my car, ok?". The man just stood there with a blank face and rigid stance. "Ok" Mothers Love replied with a concerned tone.

mothers love playing at school

Immediately after that, she was placed in a group home for temporary placement. She felt extremely lonely and bewildered because all she could think about was her father. Shortly after, her new C.F.S worker had tracked down her mother Lady Hummingbird who was living in Winnipeg, Manitoba. They soon made arrangements for her to come and pick up Mothers Love. When she learned that her mother was coming to pick her up, her heart raced, her palms began to sweat. She had so many questions and her anxiety was through the roof. 

a confused child covering her face with her hands

A year had passed since she was picked up from the group home. She still didn't have any answers about what happened to her dad. And she was angry at her social worker for placing her with her absent mother. The first few months were fine, she met her brother and sister which made her feel accepted. She started at a new school and met a few friends. But her mother's facade didn't last long as she walked in on her smoking meth on a glass pipe. She was scolded for walking in the room without knocking first.

Lady Hummingbird scolding Mothers Love streetwear t-shirt

By the age of seven, She had to quit school in order to care for her siblings. Due to Lady Hummingbird becoming lost in the lifestyle of drinking, drugs and men.

Mothers Love can recall a time when there was a party going on. She brought her siblings upstairs and locked them in their room. She then locked herself in her own room. She fell asleep despite the loud music and voices downstairs.

Suddenly, a loud bang startled her, she got out of bed to investigate. She opened her door slowly and seen a drunken man trying to get in her sibling's room. The man had one hand in his pants and the other twisting and turning the door handle. She then turned her attention downstairs trying to hear if someone was there to help her. There was nothing but dead silence. In fear of what might happen to her siblings, she pushed open her door and confronted the man. The man was startled and slapped her in the face knocking her off her feet. He then grabbed her by the hair dragging her to the bedroom.

a sad woman wearing a sober recovery t-shirt

When she turned nine C.F.S was involved in her life again. She and her siblings were apprehended. Mothers love begged the social worker to keep them together, but the agency showed no remorse and they were sent to different foster homes. From then on she was moved to multiple homes, she then became filled with anger towards her worker.

an Indigenous man wearing pow wow regalia dancing

At the age of 12, her caseworker had found her a permanent home. The family she met were loving and compassionate people. While living with her new foster family she was introduced to her Indigenous traditions, ceremonies and language. She gained a new perspective on life which gave her a sense of belonging. From this day forward she promised herself to be nothing like her mother. 

an indigenous woman graduating from high school with a big smile

She soon graduated being the first in her family. She was now 18 living on her own working at a local Tim Hortons. Even though she felt secure she still felt empty inside. She wanted to go back to school because she had a passion to work with children that shared similar life experiences. So she saved up enough money and enrolled in Red River College for a social work program.

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1 comment

  • Melanie Boubard

    Wow, I was not expecting to read this. A very emotional filled story that bought tears to my eyes. You have endured some tragedies no child should have to deal with, but here you are being a great mother to your babies. 💗

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